Can women be true friends?
With all the discussion in the HHC forums over the years, more than marriage, more than children, the subject of ‘girlfriends’ comes up over and over. Making friends is hard for housewives and keeping them is even harder. Why? Why are women so hard on each other? Just look at the Housewives television series on Bravo. These women are crazy. Friends one minute, stabbing each other in the back the next. The New York series just started. The promo for the show each woman said the same thing, ‘Is she my friend? Does she have my back?’ I thought it was pathetic that each of these women well into their thirties and forties were so insecure. They all have the best of everything.
All these housewives on these shows sporting their fancy watches and living in big houses, are desperate to feel truly loved by a female friend. It’s the kind of thing you yearn for even if you have the best marriage. Someone you can chit chat with during the day on the phone. Someone you can stroll the mall with. Someone you can call at three AM when you need to take your children to the hospital. How many 3am girls do you have? That is how I judge a real friendship. Who can you call in the middle of the night? Who can you drop your kids off in a pinch? Who can you trust? Who has your back?
There is a book that one of my friends is reading, ‘Tripping the Prom Queen.’ In it women tell their girlfriend horror stories. One women was so traumatized by the ‘bleached blonde skinny girl’ in high school that she is still isn’t over it even though she is married and her life is considered successful. Another woman admits that deep down she has hated her best friend of 20 years. The author suggests that true friendship just cannot exist among women. I think that is crap!
You know, I have often heard women say, ‘they like men more than women.’ That they ‘have more guy friends than female.’ And yes, is true, women are crazy. But, what type of woman are you? In life you get what you give out. If you are nice, friendly, fun, and trustworthy, that is the type of woman you will attract. The Bravo Housewives of NY, claim they just want good girlfriends yet each of them bad mouths the other behind their back. Jill, the redhead, was invited for a boating day and all she did was bad mouth the hostess Ramona. This is in poor taste. This girl Jill, is a mean lady. And that is key.
There are positive people and negative people. If you make a choice to stay away from negative women, and you refuse to get in the dirt with them, you will stay above the drama. Are there mean girls? Yes. Are there great gals? Absolutely. I have been lucky enough to have a bunch of great girlfriends who I know I can depend on no matter what. We are happy for each other and we love each other’s children. I am blessed for this. I started the HHC forums so housewives can talk to other housewives. And the ladies on HHC are amazing.
So open yourself up to meet nice ladies. Join your local mom’s group. Go to the library. Strike up a conversation at the park. Join the PTA. And remember you will get back the vibes you give out.