As we approach the new year, I pray for America, I pray for the world, and I pray for you. We all affect each other’s lives. Our actions have meaning. There should be no I, only we. America is suffering. People are out of work. Children are hungry. And while we all give to Toys for Tots and donate Turkeys to the church, we need hope for the future. Hope for our children. And I hope we can all come together and remember that we are one, under GOD. How would GOD feel about the opulance, the gluttony, and the greed so many of us have bestowed upon on ourselves. Is this the way we want to be? Think of America in olden times. How life was different. Even over the past thirty years since I was a child, so much has changed. How can we bring back simpler times? How do we grow kinder as people? How do we bring back the value of hard work, good love, respect, honor, dignity, and graciousness? For my New Year’s resolution, I am going to do everything I can do to make this world a better place.
From my home to yours, Merry Christmas! I wish you health and happiness in the New Year!
God Bless your family.
Darla
Merry Christmas! I rarely if ever post anywhere on anything, but I find myself increasingly frustrated this holiday season.
We have many blessings. I am grateful for them all and my husband and I work hard to appreciate them, and to continue to earn them and be good stewards of the gifts we are given.
I am a stay-at-home wife and mother and have been for 10 years. I gave up a nice, moderate career that was going well and had potential to grow in salary and responsibility. I was 31 years old. I went home to live the life we felt would be more fulfilling. It is.
Our eldest is in first grade and our youngest began kindergarten in September. Suddenly, I feel pressure and judgment from some outsiders…now that the kids are in school, what do I intend to do? I admit feeling insecure at times under the scrutiny or questioning and even judge myself sometimes by modern society’s measure. It is hard to take the road less traveled. Traditional is the new rebel, make no mistake. I respect other lifestyles as long as people live with love and dedication and respect for themselves and others. I only ask the same in return.
Yet, increasingly, in the brokenness of this world, what we are doing should be respected and appreciated. My husband works hard and is dedicated to supporting us financially and to being a loving, responsible husband and father. I work hard to run a home, nurture our children and create a life worth living for my hard-working husband and the happy little family we are. We don’t drive fancy cars, we have a very nice home, but it isn’t a McMansion. We are comfortable, but it takes hard work and savvy, financial discipline. We work at it every day.
I got frustrated recently because the school has been experiencing high levels of sickness…long story short…parents are sending sick kids to school. Both of our children got the flu shot (I’m DONE with that after this year); but our son had the flu in early December and my little one is struggling right now with it. The school is basically pleading with parents not to send ill children to school.
I have no desire to start up mommy wars or flu shot wars. I respect any mother who is working hard and doing her best, period. But, when I get society’s scrutiny for having no plans to return to work and literally spend my days scrubbing, cooking, shopping, helping with homework, wiping noses, doing laundry, taking kids to the doctor, cats to the vet, and reading stories to our children, teaching them values, teaching them they are treasured…I get frustrated. I’m the problem? Me? I’m not modern enough or hip enough? Is that the template?
My husband travels for his work and let’s face it, corporate-type jobs are not 9 to 5 if you want to hang on to the position, get raises and promotions. I had a friend think that I should be working and put the kids in after-school care and rebuild my career “before it’s too late.” “Kids are resilient.” “Don’t hover.”
Our daughter is 5 1/2 and our son just turned 7 this month. They are not coddled…they are nurtured. They are treated as my husband and I were treated as children…like the gifts they are. They are not spoiled, but they are treasured.
I saw a family member go back to work and her kids – close in age to ours – are so sad. She went back to work for lifestyle. She could have stuck it out a few more years if she tightened her belt, but she wants fancier things. You know…a 2,500 square-foot house is too small, it has to be 3,500. All the knick-knacks are the most current, the most stylish, the house is like a photo shoot. I’m not begrudging anyone their possessions and I like nice things, too. I’m not suffering in a four-bedroom house in the suburbs, believe me. But we can’t afford to get granite right now, the carpets need changing and I really wish I could put down more wood floors. But, I’m home. And, we don’t carry credit card debt.
I’ve seen couples sell nice homes and upsize into McMansions and start new, big mortgages for 30 years at age 40, 45, because they have to have the best of everything. They have no idea how they’ll retire, if they’ll ever pay the house off, etc. They’ll think about that later on. Then they wonder why I’m still home with the kids. Everyone makes choices.
This Christmas, I’m frustrated by the priorities I see around me. Choices are personal, yes, but some of the choices just seem so bereft of value, of priority of…of HONOR! People are living lives with no soul, no center! And I’m the crazy one because I’m not racing back to the rat race so we can have granite countertops?! I’m crazy because I’m not in a panic over my resume? I’m crazy because I think the next ten-to-twelve years of our family life (kids will be graduating high school in 2026 and 2027)are so important?
What on earth could be more important than our families and the time we spend with them and FOR them? How is helping my darling husband and precious children less valuable than my resume or the kind of countertops in my cheery yellow kitchen? There are homemade cookies in the jar and clean, fresh produce in the crisper. A blessing to be tending it, not a burden!
I pray for a healing in people’s hearts, for sanity, for clarity, for the true meaning of peace and prosperity at Christmas and in the new year to come. For everyone.
Thank you for your web site and your book and thank you for keeping up the good fight. For all of us smart, educated, hard-working women who CHOOSE to give up salaries and business lunches and stay home. And again…Merry Christmas.