For all of you out there who are my fans I am sorry but I am no longer a happy housewife. My teen and tween have drained me from any happiness in my life. I live in denial. Imagining that I have this Hallmark family. I plan vacations hoping we will bond and have fun. I cook nutritious homemade dinners thinking they will appreciate it. I make their beds and pick up their dirty clothes. I wipe the pee off the bowl and the toothpaste off the counter. What more can I do? My husband makes fun of me because I actually pour the milk into my son’s cereal bowl. My children have iphones. I have an old blackberry. My on has a MAC while I have a 5 year old laptop. My daughter screams there is no food while she has no idea what that statement really means. I am a slave to these kids. It is a big secret how these teens drive you crazy. I have been at parties lately telling my war stories of throwing my daughters clothes out the window and smashing my son’s ipad only to be cheered on my other disgusted and in denial parents. One mom thanked me for admitting my son is a nasty beast most of the time. No one tells you how hard these years are going to be. One woman told my husband that she walked into the kitchen one day and saw the devil. It took 5 years for her son to come back. And now they have a great relationship. Who are these happy families? Are there really teens out there who aren’t telling their parents to drop dead? Are there mothers out there who have great shopping days with their daughters? I end up in a fight with my daughter every time we go to the mall. So don’t listen to any advice from me. I am doing something wrong.
Try not to take it personally… let them break free from you, to be closer in the end. Its like training for the marathon its hard work but it feels good when you cross the finishing line… <3
My name is Valerie, and I am reading you from Luxembourg.
I just would like to encourage you and let you know than I love your book, when I do not find the inspiration of being a housewife , I look at it and it is helping me, but I would like to share than my God is helping me the most thru the bible and my christian friends. I am going to pray for you.
Thank you for helping me thru your great book. Take care.
p.s sorry for my english ….I am Swiss.
Darla, I do not have teenagers yet. I will in about 11 years. I am 24 and have two sons (2 yrs old and 5 months old). I don’t know if I will be much help considering, but I will be praying for you. There is only so much you can do as their mother. Sometimes teens can just be mean. I know when I was still at home I was sometimes a jerk to my mom. I also know that as a parent it can be hard to let go of your children and let them grow up. You spend so much time in their younger years taking care of them only to have them push you away when they get older. I don’t know what that feels like yet. I am sure I will one day. I am sure it will feel like my heart is being ripped out and torn to shreds, but God will not give you something you are not able to handle. It may be hard as all get out to deal with emotionally. It won’t be easy. You know, I think a lot of parents have this misconception that their own kids could never act like total jerks. Then when it happens it takes them by total surprise and breaks their heart even more. I have heard from a lot of older ladies in church and my mom has said this too….Our children are gifts from God. They are never ours but are on loan from God. It is our job to raise them to adulthood and hopefully raise them to serve and love the Lord. Things that are worth while are not usually easy. Darla, things may be heartbreaking and frustrating right now but the one thing my mom keeps reminding me of even now is that one day my own children will more than likely have the same difficulties dished out to them by their own children. One more thing before I end this. I watched my older brother give my mom such a hard time. From about the time he was 15 or so and when he was 25 (it took 10 years) he held his son for the first time, he never realized he could love someone so much. He has since then told mom how much he loves her and how sorry he is for the things he put her through. Now he is 27 with his son (almost 3 now) and my little nephew is a rowdy little guy. My brother has a brain tumor and I am sure he is praying that he can make it to see his son be a teenager. I am sure your children love you, Darla. I think the best thing you can do for them now is pray for them. I will be praying for you and your family.
Darla Shine says
I try to laugh at the insanity and enjoy the good times.
Darla .. I have no sons but I have five daughters. Three are teens. My oldest is 18, 16, 13, 10, and my baby is 5. My oldest, who is now a dream, was a horror. She actually called CPS on my husband because he whacked her the head with a newspaper for her nasty mouth. It was torture here for about a year. But then she changed. My father was dying and we were all by his side. I think that had a lot to do with it. And as a mother of teens you change too. You wake up to reality. They are not angels. They will do and are doing just what you did at that age. Don’t forget that you turned out just fine. Turn a deaf ear when you can, don’t be afraid to use guilt when they talk fresh to you.. and keep your sense of humor. They’re your babies. And this too shall pass. xoxo